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Woolies? I’m in

Posted in Media, Latest reporters' blogs, Russell Parsons December 1st, 2008 by Russell Parsons

If any would-be entrepreneur was to pitch Woolworths to the Dragon’s in their Den today, I’m pretty sure they would hit a wall of barbed comments and quizzical looks from the demanding business gurus.

“I have an idea for a chain of five and dime stores with merchandising inspired by a church hall jumble sale” the aspiring contestant might say, to be answered with a curt “I’m out”.

Perhaps a surprise then to learn that one of the show’s stars, Theo Paphitis is reportedly interested in buying some of the retail chain’s more profitable stores. On closer inspection, however, the Dragon is all about revival of the ailing – performing Lazarus-like resurrections at Ryman the Stationer, Contessa, La Senza and, errr Millwall FC (financially if not on the football field).

So, if anyone has a fighting chance of pulling Woolworths from its current depths, then Theo has. Although I’m sure he will be apoplectic to discover Woolies’ debt levels. His web site handily offers “5 things every start-up should know”, one of which is the sage advice that “cash is all” and that you “should always have enough cash to trade”. The entrepreneurial tip continues with this nugget of advice, attributed to his mother: “A lack of profit is like a cancer, but a lack of cashflow is like a fatal heart attack” (A tad more dramatic than the advice imparted by my mother, which usually revolved around the theme of “Wrapping up Warm”).

And finally, what is it with television friendly businessmen and Woolworths? First Alan Sugar and now a Dragon, if Theo was to walk away will we soon be reading about Donald Trump taking a punt on the beleaguered retailer? Or rapper 50 Cent? whose MTV show “The Money and the Power” sees 14 aspiring would-be entrepreneurs fighting it out.

50 Cent as Woolies Chair? I’m definitely in.

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